|You don't have to be mad to work in politics but it helps|
Speaking from a chip shop in Stoke earlier today Nick Griffin BNP leader said, 'Dave is perfect for us. The BNP need profile and his demented spiritualism is bound to get us on the News at Ten every hour. Also if God is willing to flood half of England because two poofs get married imagine what he is going to do to us for letting Pakis live here? When the final Armageddon comes it is essential that we have someone with Dave's Moses like qualities to tell us what is going to happen next. Pure and simple."
God was, as ever, unavailable for comment but Silvester, acting once again in the almighty's absence, also predicted disease, pestilence and war for the whole country because it had abandoned its gospel oaths. As Silvester's Sodom and Gomorrah like flood forecast was so chillingly correct William Hill now have, up and coming disease at 3:1, pestilence at 2:1 and; all out war; odds on even.
Henley on Thames council are keen to hold onto the highly-paid councilor come soothsayer even after he made claims which would have seen a much poorer man get sectioned but when Alan (Howling Laud) Hope, leader of the Monster Raving Loony Party was asked if they also had plans to enter the bidding race to secure Silvester's contract, he said, "We do have some limits old boy. He's a proper nutter."