Media Slurp

One Direction Struggle To Protect Identity Of Band's Only Singer

Harry Accidentally Reveals Number of Singers in OD
Harry Styles the famous member of World Older Boy Pop Super Group One Direction has accidentally given away the number of the real singers in the band. Due to his furious response (she picture) after a mediocre performance in Toronto when the pop God was asked, 'How many of lot you can actually sing?' vacuous youth culture 'buffs' suspect that it is not him.

After the news broke the tweetershpere and bloggbins of the world lit up like the Oxford Street Christmas lights on the 22nd of November as hoards of moronic tasteless gobshites all over the planet circulated rumours of who the mystery singer could be. The first OD 'member' tossed from the rumour mill was the dusky one because he is the only member who has to shave. Second was the blonde one because he sweats like a dyslexic on Countdown during the shows so he must be doing something. Third was the short one because short people can sometimes sing and fourth was the other one which nobody seems to know much about and because someone had to come fourth.

It is thought that whoever the mystery vocalist is they will become the backing singer and real 'voice' of Harry Styles when he finally splits from the band and starts his solo career in 18 months time after another five mincing vegetables can be dug up from somewhere by Simon Cowell and taught how to prance tunelessly around.

Watch OD's disastrous Toronto performance here: