The Stuffing 'Em Post: Sport Crime

Hamilton found Rosberg using 'Eye Lie' gel.

Hamilton Furious After Rosberg Refuses In Car Lie Detector

Lewis Hamilton stormed out of his F1 Mercedes pit yesterday after team Mate Nico Rosberg refused to wear an in car polygraph during next week's Japanese Grand Prix. After several incidents this year where the German's 'mistakes' have led to him coming out on top it has become obvious to Hamilton and his team along with millions of F1 spectators around the world that Rosberg is a constant and habitual liar. Now Hamilton is arguing, 'Getting him to wear a lie detector is the only way to make sure the sneaky bastard's telling the truth.'

Relations between the team mates worsened during a data swap meeting when Hamilton saw Rosberg with a jar of 'Eye Lie,' the special grease racing drivers use on their eyes to stop them bursting into flames with the friction caused by intense swiveling at the post-race press conferences. Rosberg categorically denies telling fibs but yesterday when he could not find his 'Gel' and smoke was seen wafting from his face after Hamilton asked him what he had for breakfast the English ex 2008 World Champion demanded Rosberg was fitted with the on board polygraph.

With the last five rounds approaching and the championship on a knife edge competitors are expected to hide their emotions. But it has been reported that Rosberg, along with refusing the lie detector, has taken to wearing a full face helmet fitted with a mirrored visor while working with Hamilton and once even kept it on when the two drivers played golf. This has not helped the ill feeling between them.

Hamilton wheel spun away in his multimillion pound Mclaren sports car shouting from the window, 'What's the point asking him if he meant to crash at Monaco or Belgium or Bahrain or any of the other races where he had strange crashes if he can't tell us what he's had on his bloody toast in the morning?'

With the next Grand Prix in Japan only one week away the nervy stalemate continues. Hamilton taking his temper out on his supermodel girlfriend aboard his multimillion dollar yacht anchored in the Maldives and Rosberg sitting in the darkened bedroom of his playboy penthouse in Monte Carlo practicing F1 2014 on his X Box and downloading all the cheats.