|Costa Coffee unveils new 'Milliwich' on M3|
Costa Coffee has unveiled it's first million pound sandwich at a service station in Hampshire on the M3. The disgraceful multinational tax-dodging company stated that they were proud to release their new 'Highway Snack': the Semi-Grated Mild Cheddar in Wholemeal Granary Bread 'Country Feast' which retails at £1 000 000.63p.
Motorway prices for two bits of bread and an old piece of sweaty cheese have been soaring uncontrollably for years and UK snack analysts had predicted the first million pound sandwich for some time. Jeremy Jamjar, head of a not for profit organisation set up to look into retail abuses in the snack trade; Sandwich at Retail Nonsense Investigations (or S.A.R.N.I.) told us, 'Alarm bells started to ring in June when a single sad, old ham roll covered in fly crap languishing on the top shelf of a Starbucks counter in Reading on the A34 and advertised as a 'Banquet for the World - Infinite Swine Orgy' was traded for a two bedroom flat on the Portabello Road. After that we knew it wouldn't be long until the first million pound sandwich, or 'Milliwich' as we call it, was upon us .'
Simon Rapina who sells the sandwiches to Costa Coffee and makes them in his bedsit in Devizes said, 'I used to work at Tescos as a trolley attendant but when I worked out that if I bought one loaf of bread and a 75p piece of cheese and turned them into sandwiches I could make the equivalent of Panamanian national debt in an afternoon I thought fuck this for a game of soldiers and I've never looked back since.'