Osama Bin Laden's House Demolished In Secrecy To Prevent Copy Cat Al Quaeda Home Improvements

Counter Intelligence Special
Bin Laden keen DIYist

Osama bin Laden compound demolished - YouTube  

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Osama Bin Laden Compound Demolition Begins In Pakistan (Video) ... Fake Obama Bin Laden Papers Tell ...

Osama Bin Laden's house in Pakistan was demolished today under strict secrecy to protect details of renovations the Al Quaeda mastermind had made to the property. It is thought US security officials were trying to prevent copy cat DIY improvements by other terrorists to their homes. Intelligence reports suggest that Bin Laden was a keen builder who spent long periods of time erecting a conservatory and undertaking many other complicated projects around the house such as; double glazing, stud partition work and large areas of block paving in between organising his world terrorist organisation.

General William 'Buck' Heelson Jnr, in charge of the CIA's collateral evidence destruction team, said, "everyone knows this was no two bit bozo. He was a decking genius. If this lunatic's PHWs, plans of home improvement, ever got out to other sleeper cells in the area it could spread like wild fire. This guy had a 40ft patio, a heated pool, a barbecue pit and a summer house. And the gardens' just the tip of this whole dirty DIY iceberg."

A specialist team of army seal also discovered plans for a rumpus room with a pool table and bar in the cellar. General Heelson, overseeing the controlled demolition, explained,  "this information must be protected at all costs or we could have bad guys from Tehran to the Sudan walking around with shovels, spirit levels and concrete mixers at any moment. This is not a situation the pentagon wishes to see as it would mean a move to def con one - definite construction one!"

Security analysts have pointed out the General's remarks are in line with a CIA report made in the summer expressing fears that Al Quaeda operatives were becoming more interested in doing up their humble homes than fighting. An official from the Pentagon, in charge of IEP (International Embitterment Policy) said, "ensuring Afghani combat readiness is of extreme importance to our security programme in the region. Therefore, it is vital that all insurgents carry on with our war, sorry THE war, for at least two more years until our forces invade Iran, at which point the locals will be free to carry out any home improvements they choose."

US security forces continued to guarantee the need for home renovations in North Pakistan by destroying more houses there last week with drone attacks. It is believed several sinister looking sheds and rockeries were spotted by US spy satellites near the buildings targeted.