|Bin Laden keen DIYist|
A specialist team of army seal also discovered plans for a rumpus room with a pool table and bar in the cellar. General Heelson, overseeing the controlled demolition, explained, "this information must be protected at all costs or we could have bad guys from Tehran to the Sudan walking around with shovels, spirit levels and concrete mixers at any moment. This is not a situation the pentagon wishes to see as it would mean a move to def con one - definite construction one!"
Security analysts have pointed out the General's remarks are in line with a CIA report made in the summer expressing fears that Al Quaeda operatives were becoming more interested in doing up their humble homes than fighting. An official from the Pentagon, in charge of IEP (International Embitterment Policy) said, "ensuring Afghani combat readiness is of extreme importance to our security programme in the region. Therefore, it is vital that all insurgents carry on with our war, sorry THE war, for at least two more years until our forces invade Iran, at which point the locals will be free to carry out any home improvements they choose."
US security forces continued to guarantee the need for home renovations in North Pakistan by destroying more houses there last week with drone attacks. It is believed several sinister looking sheds and rockeries were spotted by US spy satellites near the buildings targeted.