President Obama attempted to quell German fears over NSA spying yesterday claiming that the huge amount of data already collected by the National Security Agency could become useful to the German public in a future 'emergency.' Speaking in high-level talks with Angela Merkle on Saturday the US president said, 'Imagine one of your citizens goes to pick up some beer and sauerkraut from the store but deletes the shopping list from his I phone on the way. In the past he would have been helpless but now he can just call Dick Cheney to find out what he was going to buy - after, of course, acquiring the relevant freedom of information request.'
As it can take up to a hundred years (and usually never) for a freedom of information request to be granted in the US geopolitical analysts are worried that this type of remark may currently be undermining the German public's trust in the American leader and the military industrial complex that employs him.
White House insiders are thought to be confident that his ridiculous claims, vacuous sloganising, perpetual contradictions and ludicrous inconsistencies will be quickly overlooked when people are reminded of his ability to throw a ball through a hoop and his wife's elegant taste in extremely expensive clothes.