Sport Crime

Pistorius (The Pistol) Verdict Forces Competition To Re evaluate Self-Harming 'Accidents'

Pistorius 'The Pistol' coming out with all guns blazing
The not guilty verdict in the Oscar Pistorius trial has forced rival athletes to reconsider harming themselves in a bid to keep up with the speedy gunman. It has long been known that a disabled athlete who has lost both legs can run faster than a competitor who has only lost one. Now that Pistorius is on the loose again his one legged competitors are considering faking a spate of self-harming accidents which could eventually see them overtaking the gun-toting champ.

Danny Botangaleesey, one legged disabled 200m sprinter from Ghana said, 'We all thought Oscar was a goner but somehow he got away with it. Now we're all being told by our trainers that we have to make sacrifices if we want to be the fastest disabled man in the world. Then they leave you alone in your room with a saw. I have not been able to do it yet but now Oscar is back I'm seriously considering having an accident myself. After all I have a wife and children to look after.'

With the World Athletics Cup coming up it is thought Pistorius will come out of the blocks with all guns blazing and rumours of self-harming are rife in the disabled changing rooms. Alex Soap, 100m UK one legged disabled athlete said, 'A few of the guys have been talking about having an accident and loosing another leg here or there but I'm not so sure. I reckon I'll break the world record with Pistorius The Pistol gunning up behind me.'

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