Rail Executives Praise HS2 As 'Excellent Value For Money'
Highly-paid rail executives claimed that a reduction of twenty minutes in journey time from London to Birmingham for the new HS2 represented 'excellent value for money' at only £2 billion a minute.
Bosses were keen to point out that time savings may end up being up to 25 minutes (£50 Billion) longer than expected when the service is finalised. Speaking from his chauffeur-driven limousine a Rail Track financial consultancy expert explained, '£2 billion a minute is approximately one billion pounds every thirty seconds' adding, 'that will be fifteen thousand pounds please.'
Public fears that the original estimate of £39 billion for the new rail link might spiral out of control by 2026 were broadly ignored by consultants paid huge salaries overseeing the planned development. It is expected that although many of the people who pay for the glamorous new trains will not be able to afford to travel on them they will be able to watch them as they constantly roar through their gardens and villages.