Westminster Village/ Green

Schoolgirls could be kept like horses in disused bike sheds.
Government Unveils Plans For Strongest Schoolgirls To Be Used More Efficiently

Ministry insiders at the Department of Work and Pensions are reporting that Browne Taylor, England's strongest schoolgirl, was the inspiration for new Government plans to establish a revolutionary physical education/fuel replacement scheme throughout all UK secondary moderns. Under these proposals the strongest female student from every year would be selected and used as an alternative power source for existing motorised vehicles and school machinery such as the school bus, lawn mower and floor cleaning equipment.

A government spokesman implementing the scheme explained, 'Bike sheds at many schools could be turned into miniature stables where the girls could be kept like horses and fed on the leftover meals by dinner ladies. Most strong people aren't usually particularly clever so it would be a waste of time trying to educate them anyway. The savings we could make are simply too large to be ignored.'

It is thought that money recouped by the plans could be used to buy saddles, bridles and extra carrots.