It's official! 63 years and seven months doing absolutely sweet FA
Queen Officially Becomes Laziest Woman In England

At 4.30 GMT today (Wednesday 9th September) Queen Elizabeth II will officially become the laziest woman in England knocking the former work shy Queen Victoria off the number one spot. Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor will have spent exactly sixty three years and seven months doing absolutely sweet FA apart from opening envelopes and waving at people from the comfort of her many luxurious carriages, limousines, helicopters, ships, trains and enormous stately homes.

Royal commentators were quick to point out that its not been easy for our monarch to achieve this latest accolade and that it has only come after over half a century of 24/7 round the clock intensive skiving. Brigadier Sir Brian Eton Churchill Cambridge said, 'Remember the Queen hasn't done anything since she was twenty three: Dusted, washed up, cleaned her shoes, ironed, changed a fuse, been shopping, filled the car up with petrol, picked the kids up, fed the dog, cooked a meal, mowed the lawn, picked her nose, wiped her own arse or even sifted through the junk in the loft. Nothing. People don't realise just how much indolence it's taken on her part to become this undisputed symbol of our country's aristocratic inertia.'

Media outlets around the world are predicting the Queen has still got a few more year in her yet and that she will be around for sometime but always where there's bugger all to do.

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