Travel Fears

Gantry manufacturers claim gantries 'great success.'
Manufactures Claim New Motorway Signs 'Great Success'

A nationwide scheme to install hundreds of new and extremely expensive motorway signs informing road users that they are in a traffic jam or that they should not drink and drive have have been hailed as a 'great success' by manufactures of the five-lane gantries. 

A spokesman for the company said 'We are all very happy with the way our plans are developing. This program is even better than our previous scheme where we charged the tax payer £500 pounds each for another sign that was placed on the gantries before their completion which read 'sign not in use yet.'

Concerns aired by a watchdog in charge of identifying ridiculous wasteful government spending claiming that the message 'Fog' could sometimes not be read because of fog, were described as 'unhelpful' by a team representing the company. 

Government officials claimed thousands of motorists might have started drinking whilst driving or crashing into each other unless they had been warned not to by the 'intuitive' system claiming,  'Every driver who is not throwing a bottle of scotch down his neck at the wheel or smashing his car into the central reservation is proof the signs are worth every single one of the billions and billions of pounds spent on them.'