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BBC Meteorologists Predict Xmas Weather 'Missile' Will Snap Scotland From UK Mainland And 'Slap It Into The Face Of Sweden'

Shaffernacker; Weather 'Missile' Will snap Scotland off UK mainland

BBC meteorologists, desperate for ratings, have claimed a weather 'missile' of such strength will hit the UK over Xmas that it will snap Scotland from the mainland and 'Slap it into the face of Sweden.' Old Auntie weather alarmists including the ridiculously named Thomas Shaffernacker warned viewers that they risk being swept up so high in a hurricane, caused by the weather missile, that they be stranded on the moon unless they watch the constant weather updates on BBC news 24 every fifteen minutes.

Fearing nationwide pandemonium the King of Sweden immediately contacted the BBC weather department after the broadcast demanding an explanation but none of the highly-paid weather predictions team were available for comment as they were either making up new threatening terms for weather systems, in makeup, buying a new house, or at an Aston Martin showroom choosing a new top of the range sports car. Unable to talk to anyone about the terrifying weather missile the Swedish king died in agony of a heart attack due to the stress caused upon hearing his country would have Scotland smashed into it.

Alex Salmon, failed Scottish Independence leader, is known to be tracking the weather missile with 'some interest' as it relentlessly makes its way towards the UK over the Atlantic. Sources close to the Scottish premiere say that he can not be moved from in front of his laptop but merely sits there repeatedly banging his fists into the table muttering under is breath, 'C'mon my beauty! C'mon!'