The Stuffing 'Em Post: World Bollotics US Elections

Jeb and Hillary practicing their salutes

Clinton V's Bush: Demolican V's Republocrat: Damned If You Do Do

The two nominees in this year's US presidential race are causing American voters to feel genuinely 'spoilt' for choice. Though Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush work for the same company the C.F.R (Council on
Foreign Relations), the shadow government’s international & domestic policy makers, war planners, slave consultants and advertising agency, both candidates are promising radically different styles of leadership.

Mrs Clinton (Demolican) assured voters that she will be in every way as trustworthy as her ever-faithful husband Bill. During his two terms the beloved ex-president only got caught telling one lie, regarding his affair with Monica Lewinsky, though he told it over four thousand, five hundred and fifty two times. Mrs Clinton chuckled, ‘Ha ha. When I get caught, for instance, having oral sex with one of my firm-bottomed young interns, just like my patriotic husband I will simply bomb some countries, play the saxophone and say that, though I have taken drugs, I blew the smoke out of my ass so it doesn't really count. It's the Democlian way.’

Jeb Bush (Republocrat) claimed the US would be in as safe a pair of hands as it had been during his brother’s and father’s tenure which oversaw the country’s slide into three calamitous wars costing millions of lives and trillions of dollars. Mr Bush announced that his central campaign pledge would be one of 'security' a subject on which his family were experts. He laughed, ‘Our Bush family experience in this field includes my brother Marvin overseeing anti-terrorism measures at WTC which coincidentally ended on 9/11. Sadly this led to the US sliding into a calamitous war costing millions of lives and trillions of dollars. Of course let's not forget my Grandfather Prescott Bush and his Union Banking Corporation who ensured security across Europe, and indeed the whole world, by giving the Adolf Hitler billions and billions of dollars. Unfortunately this also led to the country's slide into a truly calamitous war costing millions and millions of lives and trillions and trillions more dollars. It's the Republocrat way.'