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| Sarkozy gassy contemplating supersize me stunt |
Ex- French President Nicolas Sarkozy revealed a bizarre last-ditch PR plan to revive his flagging pole ratings, including spending his governmental food 'ration' of £10,000 a day at MacDonalds on the Champs Elysee. It seems his out-of-touch mandarins, who advised the stunt, mistakenly believed this would broaden his appeal to the man in the street. Unfortunately, due to an 'error' in their statistical forecast unit (caused when Sarcozy and his handlers suddenly realised that had no idea whatsoever of how normal people live) it is now estimated the premiere will have to eat over 5.2 tonnes of junk food in seven days.
Zarkozy, not wishing to mount an embarrassing climb-down over the situation, bravely stuck to his 'supersize me' plans boasting, "14 000 Euros a day iz nothing! How much food can it be Ha!" When told £10 000 worth of Big Macs a day represents 0.85 tonnes of processed beef 'matter' and gherkin, the president mumbled under his breath, "Pas d'problem," before hurriedly making his way to the toilet.
Gastro-analysts had first believed the premier was mounting a two-pronged attack on the food-obsessed minds of french voters by also trying to single-handedly remove the European beef matter mountain which, in turn, would hike up the French farmer's subsidies back to pre 2008 levels. With an election looming in less than a week's time the diminutive French leader is missing his secret PR weapon; top-model wife Carla Bruni, who, already exhausted after remorseless TV appearances, releasing several Cd's and even having a baby in a desperate effort to boost her husband's waning popularity, has come out demanding, "Zis time he must sort it out for himself."
In an attempt to compete with Sarkozy's electioneering food 'stunt' Marie Le Penne, the right-wing extremist representing the Front National Party, vowed to eat 7000 Euros worth of raw steaks with fried eggs on each morning. Screaming at the top her voice early yesterday with blood and egg yolk dripping down the side of her chin she snarled, 'The best way to a Frenchman's heart is by eating one that is still beating!'
Another pre-election 'scheme' rumoured popular with voters involved the President lending his gigantic fleet of 121 cars to Parisian commuters, health workers and taxi drivers but an aide close to the premiere in charge of speaking out of the side of his mouth commented that this was perhaps 'less probable'.
News: -France- Sarkozy splurges 10000 pounds a day on food ... 
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7 Feb 2012 – LONDON: French president Nicolas Sarkozy spends £10000 a day on food and keeps 121 cars at his Elysee Palace, a new book says.