Counter Intelligence /Stupidity

Mr William's face before sex mistake?
Cruel Sex Game Breakthrough In MI6 Agent of Death Sports Bag Case

A major breakthrough has been made in the case of MI6 agent Gareth Williams who was found cut into pieces and padlocked into a sports bag at his London home in 2010. A top specialist with forty years of experience in counter intelligence, bought in especially to work on the baffling case, has controversially revealed she believes that the agent did not, as first suspected, commit suicide and that he was in fact the victim of a cruel sex game that went terribly wrong.

The staggering claims were made after Jackie Sebire, newly put in charge of the investigation, assumed that Mr Williams could not have cut himself up then zipped the bag closed and fastened the padlock as this would have been extremely difficult due to loss of blood and consciousness and given the manner of zips, bags, padlocks and dead people in general. This leaves only one conclusion; that there was another individual present at the time and that this man must have been Mr William's gay lover who had mistakenly cut his boyfriend to pieces when the sex game they were playing went seriously ary.

MI6 officials were stunned into silence after they had failed to unravel this part of the mysterious riddle themselves, finally claiming, "It all seems so simple now. You've got to hand it to Jackie, she certainly has the knack of getting to the bottom of things."

Lending weight to this interpretation of the facts an anonymous former MI6 employee said,"murderous gay sex games that end in mutilation and possible death are the bread and butter of the counter intelligence community. We've all been there. Back in 98, during a violent rape fantasy I used to enact with my Russian counterpart who worked for the KGB, I blacked out for a moment because of the orange in my mouth and when I came too I had shredded poor Ivan's arm up with a meat cleaver and put it in my wash bag."

Though Mrs Sebire's theory is obviously fully watertight in every respect the investigation inexplicably carries on, as one legal representative observed, "with all the vigour of junkie pushing a pea with his nose from Penzance to John O Groats in return for a pamphlet on giving up drugs. In the rain."

25 Feb 2012 – Gareth Williams, the MI6 agent found dead in the bath, a coroner has been told. ... Williams, whose naked and decomposing body was found in a bag in .....the Metropolitan Police who was in charge of the Lucan case during the 1980s. ..... 8, Bill Hanshumaker, a public marine specialist and (Ph.D) doctor of ...