'Mash' fan about to soil himself
Daily Mash Warned About Dangerous 
Humour Levels

Internet watchdog ONCOM has ordered trendy satirical website The Daily Mash to be less funny after complaints from web users who claimed they laughed so much when they read it that they have seriously injured themselves in the process. Fears of unhealthy levels of humour on the site were first raised when a man from Leeds reported laughing so hard, after reading an article about masturbation and women jiggling their breasts, that he coughed up his testicles into his dog's water bowl. Although the man is reported to have found the incident mildly erotic after his dog briefly licked his ejaculated bollocks, he is now suing the satirical website for the injury under new prohibitive internet laws.

When asked about the warning secretive creator of The Daily Mash, Neil Rafferty, shouted from the window of his French mansion, 'I can't help being so funny! You're all just jealous! Everybody wants to be ME and I don't blame them! I'm brilliant! Now go away or I shall slay you with one of my killer one liners! Which, luckily for you, have temporarily deserted me.'

A spokeswoman from ONCOM, responsible for policing levels of comedy on line, commented, 'This is not the first time we've had to warned Rafferty and his team of funny men to cool it. Earlier this year a woman's hair started to bleed and she broke eight ribs when she read an article [in The Daily Mash] describing a fictitious letter from Nick Clegg's mum to David Cameron's mum telling her to stop Dave from bullying Nick. Of course I cannot share the rest of the details of this blog with your readers as they may shit out their kidneys in the resulting fit of delirium.'

Although there has been no formal response from the Daily Mash regarding the ONCOM warning bloggers have reported that the site seems a lot less funny than it did a few days ago and web analysts are considering this represents a climbdown by those behind the scenes at the mysterious site. Yesterday Dale Brush, a long-time 'Mash' fan from Southampton, said, 'The DM has been going downhill for a while now, but there are still some wicked things on the site. Check out the online shop: £25 for a T-shirt that says 'Is your girlfriend wearing a bra? Oh yes... they've still got it.' 

The Daily Mash - It's a bit rubbish. « Singletrack Forum

The Daily Mash - It's a bit rubbish. ... I often click through the many links on here that lead to Daily Mash articles. ... Viz is not as funny as it used to be either.