|MI5: 'Queenie' drone: 'Blam! No one can put Humpty|
Trumpty back together again'
MI5 have revealed plans to use a weaponised Queen Elizabeth II drone to kill President Donald Trump on his forthcoming UK visit. The hit on the troublesome US president is due to mounting international pressure to get rid of him before he does something really stupid during the next three years of his presidency. Such is the overwhelming support for the plan that its list of advocates contain several renowned pacifists including; Arch Bishop Desmond Tutu, former UN Chief Kofi Annan and even BBC 1's kind-hearted weather woman Carol Kirkwood.
A top-level MI5 intelligence boss with maximum security clearance and thirty years experience working within the heart of the country's mega-secretive counter-intelligence apparatus protecting our fragile nation from the very real threat of international terrorism took £10 off us and said, 'We have had the weaponised 'Queenie' drone for a while. We were going to use it on Blair in case he didn't go through with Iraq in 2003. But he always was such a good boy. Anyway - the plan is to get the drone Queen to lure old Humpty-Trumpty to a part of Buckingham Palace that already needs redecorating by offering him a coke, or a meeting with fellow ginge Prince Harry, then - Blam! - no one can put poor Humpty-Trumpty back together again. At first we were going to use a room that she [the Queen] wanted orange - y'know? To save money. Splat! But apparently she said 'Just kill the little shit, clean the floor with a mop and bucket then hang some £140 a roll Arundale Trefoil wallpaper.' That's royalty for you. Pure class.'
CIA bosses have indicated they are ready to replace President Trump with their own drone: TRU-MP 2;(Tithead Replacement Unit - Mechanised President #2) and that the 'switch' will take place shortly after the 'hit' just like 'the old days.' Technicians working at the agency's biological weapons development department said that in order to fool the press, and Trump's family members, the drone has been fitted with a random sentence generator made from the broken voice box of an old GI Joe and the CPU from a computer installed with Windows 8. Another realistic feature is the incorporation of the special gripping hands from the same GI Joe toy which, whilst exactly the same colour and texture as the old president, will also allow the new TRU-MP 2 to convincingly grab women's genitalia and to grasp a crayon when signing the dissolution of the Kyoto climate agreement.
www.presstv.ir › US › Interviews
23 Jan 2017Israelis could attempt to assassinate US President Donald Trump like they orchestrated the murder of former ...
14 Mar 2016 - Uploaded by Paul Joseph WatsonThe establishment wants someone to assassinate Donald Trump. Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com ...
perezhilton.com › RIP3 days ago - Psychic Lyndsay Edwards is now officially on the record as having seen a vision of Donald Trump's assassination, and it sounds terrifying.