|Terror Boss: If we can't rely on FB what can we rely on?|
Panic began erupting amongst UK secret agents when it was discovered that Assam Hamid, a 27 year old Pakistani from Bolton, hadn't declared whether he was in a relationship or not on Facebook when it was suspected that he was going out with a girl he met at Greggs on the high street the week before. Hamid had recently appeared on nationwide digital security checks after buying some paint from his local B&Q and therefore posed a terrorist risk as he could have painted the words 'Allah is great' on some kind of improvised explosive devise. Richard Barret warned, 'If we don't even know if this guy is going out with someone how do we know what else he is up to? For all we know he probably has a WMD factory in his garage and a red Al Qaeda suicide death squad cell in his loft.'
Mark Zuckerberg owner of Facebook calmed fears amongst intelligence bosses assuring, 'No one ever lies on Facebook. Period. In the time we went public in 1999 not one user has ever posted something that isn't true or even used a photograph of someone else for their profile picture. We still believe that the security services can rely on the world's greatest and most trustable social network site to detect those people who are bad in society.