Bloggers Warn Of Killer 'Webstress' Due To Increased Pressure On Them To Perform

Bloggers under pressure

Media Slurp

With the public's insatiable appetite for texts, tweets and blogs growing at an exponential rate bloggers have come out warning increased pressure on them to come up with new and witty ideas everyday may send some of them mad. Webstress, a new killer mental disorder afflicting members of the online community attempting to update a website daily, is suspected to be on the rise nationally. 

Fears of the condition were raised when a student from Huddersfield running a busy satirical website complained of pains in his head, before throwing himself and his lap top out of a three storey window at Durham University.

A blogger from Brighton, who wished to remain anonymous, in keeping with his existing media profile, said, 'please don't tell anyone my real name is Simon,' before adding, 'it doesn't matter if you only tell one person about your blog. They always end up emailing you saying 'you haven't written anything for a while' and, 'what about so and so, in the news? Why don't you write something about that?' The pressure is killing me. Maybe I will go blind.'

Members of the Huffington Post team. the most hilarious blog on the interweb, were too busy shouting at their analysts and taking prescription drugs to comment on stress levels at their swanky offices situated in London's leafy Belgravia. Media insiders are on the record saying 'many of the staff often have tantrums and fits and spend a lot of their time waving their fingers at people, even when they're not in the room.'

Doctor Rene Jabouille, chief computer neurologist at Middlesex University's department of sociological research, explained, 'the hypertension experienced by the Huffington staff is not the killer mental disorder webstress or they would all be dead. This is probably because they actually write for a living, unlike the other 95% of bloggers in the country.'

The police have issued a statement calling for mild levels of concern. Chief Superintendent of Merseyside Constabulary Colin Baconopolis warned members of the public saying, 'Its probably best to give busy bloggers a wide berth until something interesting happens in their tedious existences for them to spout off about. Then they will realise there was no need for them to be stressful in the first place. Unless, that is, they post something politically threatening, then we will put them under surveillance or arrest them under new terrorism laws.'