Bad Science

Stupid pills on the NHS.
Stupid Pills Set To Relieve Mounting Pressure On MP's

Ministers are about to announce plans for the obligatory consumption of a range of 'stupid pills' sold through the NHS which, when ingested, will make it impossible for people to realise they are being lied to, even when MP's eyes dart around and they they constantly touch their noses. MP's have complained of increased stress levels when constantly faced with sceptical members of the public and press who know that they are lying. An official in charge of the scheme said, 'it's getting hard for MP's to keep a straight face when talking about the things their supposed to believe in. These new stupid pills will be a great help for everyone who works in government.' 

It is thought that the release of the pills is timed to coincide with mass public suspicion of government plans to commercialise the NHS which have been criticised by; The Faculty of Public Health, The ICB, The British Medical Association, The Chartered Society of Physiotherapy,The Royal College of Nurses, Midwives, GPs, Anaesthetists, Ophthalmologists, Pathologist, Physicians, Psychiatrist, Radiologists, Paediatrics and Child Health, The College of Occupational Therapists, The British Dietetic Association, The United Union, The Institute for Healthcare Management, Unison, MiP, GMB Union, The College of Occupational Therapists, The Community Practitioners and Heath Visitors Association, The Financial Times, The Guardian and everyone else in the United Kingdom.

A spokesman for the company manufacturing the pills said,' demand from government health departments is expected to be high. Although many people in the country are already stupid friends of my family in parliament will pass legislation to ensure the enforced consumption of our drugs so we are predicting record profits.'

When asked about wide-spread concerns due to the impending commercialisation of the NHS Sir William Vice Greason commissioner in charge of venture medicine and the public expectation adjustment streamlining unit said, 'No one should worry at the moment, especially if they are not planning to be ill in the next two weeks.' The wealthy pharmaceutical industrialist continued, 'this opinion now comes under the terms laid out in the provision for surprise psychological diagnosis act 2012 so you will be charged 315.68p by my consultancy company. Good day.'