The Stuffing 'Em Post: Sport Crime

Sport Crime

Popular Football Criminal Redknapp Cleared For Future European 'Jobs.'

Redknapp popular football criminal cleared for 'jobs.'

Relief has been expressed by FA officials over the recent decision to clear Harry Redknapp of fraud charges made after he failed to declare a 'gift' of £189 000 made to him by another well-known international football criminal Milan Mandaric.

The decision made at Southwark Crown Court is expected to allow the popular bacon-faced villain to assume his long predicted role as England's football manager.

A representative of the Football Association said, 'Harry is exactly the type of crafty cockney geezer we think can win us a major tournament and the way that he wriggled out of these charges that would have had any normal bloke banged up for years was proof of his slippery credentials.' He muttered, 'Terry Venables was quite dodgy and he got us to the semi-finals against the krauts in 1990, where as Steve Mclaren never broke the speed limit and even waited for the beep to start before crossing the road - that numpty didn't even qualify for euro 2008 but Harry's definately sly enough to go all the way.'

Neil Bother Hythe from Sport Psychology International said, 'You're never going to win anything in football these days unless you're crooked. That's why the English fans respect Harry Redknapp because they're all basically criminals as well.'

Possible new role for Harry

It is thought that if Mr Rednapp fails to legitimately win the European Championship in June he could lead an 'Italian Job' style heist playing the part of master thief Micheal Cain and dressing the English football team in overalls before stealing the trophy from under the noses of whichever foreigners had rightfully won it.

Both Mini and National Express coaches have expressed 'interest' in aligning their products and services with the 'plans' and have let it be known they are willing to lease Harry's team the vehicles necessary for the 'job'. Although it is believed National Express have requested a change to the last section of the original plan where the robbers' coach balances precariously over the side of a cliff for obvious 'positive advertising' reasons.