The Stuffing 'Em Post: Deadly Sales

Deadly Sales

Earth's population must be doubled to save World's economy

Earth's Population To Be Doubled To Boost Economy

In a long awaited statement the WTO (World Trade Organisation) has announced that the Earth's population must be doubled to boost the ailing international economy. The world has been running out of money ever since since the Central Bankers started to look after it for us and now it is agreed, by all leading economists, that the only way to save the planet's finances is by shopping our way out of trouble and working twice as hard. However, since 99% of Earth's citizens cannot work or shop any more without dying, logically the world's population must be doubled.

Harold Harrington Landscape Blot, the UK Tory politician and banker currently managing Heathrow's third runway expansion and who first coined the soundbite 'unbridled immigration is good for the economy', has been selected by the WTO to oversee the new population expansion initiative known as 'The Sky's The Limit!' Mr Landscape Blot excitedly chomped, "Originally we had wanted to quadruple the Earth's population but now, due to lack of time for sex due to long working and shopping hours, those plans will be have to be shelved till 2020. Think of the money that we will make then. Money that, will, no doubt, in full time, of course, find its way back to an airport near you. After all: the more people - the more money. Right? It's just plain logic. I can't understand why no one has thought of it before. In turn, I believe that everyone: all the way from the largest multi-nationals corporations, supermarkets, high street stores, let's not forget airports, political organisations, schools, hospitals even football teams, churches and armies to the single self-employed person in the street or the simple paperboy should double their workforce. Ka'ching! It's that simple.