The Stuffing 'Em Post: Mediaganda

Mediaganda

Kuenssberg: 'Curtains' for Corbyn 'Kablam!'

BBC Announce New Plan To Assassinate Jeremy Corbyn

BBC news editor Laura Kuenssberg has announced a new plan to assassinate Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn. Speaking from behind her desk in a shadowy smoke-filled room at Beeb headquarters in central London Kuenssberg stubbed out a fag in an overfilled ashtray and muttered, 'Our character assassination of the cardigan wearing communist isn't working. Well not fast enough. Even though we have repeatedly reported all his successes as failures and scandalously attempted to imply that his leadership is in constant peril the mild-mannered Mao Tse-tung doesn't even get angry enough to have a seizure. It's maddening! So we're going to have to do this job properly. Then its curtains for that sodding sermonizing sandal-wearing socialist. Kablam!'

Kuenssberg has booked 'The Stig' from the BBC's Top Gear show to execute a drive-by shooting on the leader of the opposition for £5000 claiming that 'the pussies' from her murky media connections at the Times and Sky TV wanted to charge 'double that.'

The BBC is now 96% made up from David Cameron's old school friends and business associates and everyone from CBBCs to the BBC 2's special effects unit are thought to be right behind the assassination. Old Auntie chiefs plan to make a mockumentary about the killing which will be aired in June shortly before the 'surprise' shooting itself as they did with 7/7. The assassination will be broadcast live at 11:11 am Monday 11th July on Victoria Derbyshire's early morning show in between a piece about how best to iron money and Reeta Chakrabarti's 'Learn To Play Golf The Reeta Chakrabarti Way.'