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| Ed Milliband defeated but not down |
Labour's defeated ex-leader Ed Milliband has found new employment as a riot policeman in London and has tweeted, 'I was only on the dole for a week.'
It is thought that Mrs Milliband became unhappy with her husband constantly hanging around the house moments after he lost the election two weeks ago claiming that he was preventing her from ordering the servants around and getting the chores done. This domestic pressure along with his strong work ethic and the fact that he was only entitled to £74.26p a week on Job Seekers Allowance forced the jilted Labour toff to find new employment.
Speaking from the front line of a police barricade set up to defend the nation's capitol against rioting students Mr Milliband dodged a flying brick and spluttered, 'Oh yes. Still bringing home the bacon. That's me. Like the man at the dole office said this new job gives me the chance to use my natural authority and powerful physical presence whist keeping me off the streets. Well, y'know what I mean. And now, with my good old mates in the Conservative party enraging everybody in the country for the next five years, there's going to be plenty of overtime. I hope my story can inspire others in a similar situation to keep going in troubling times. Whoever you are out there you might have been defeated but you're not down. If I can do it - you can do it too. Ow! That hurt! Oh c'mon. That was on fire... I say. Ow!'
Has Ed Miliband found a new job already? - The Independent
www.independent.co.uk/news/.../has-ed-miliband-found-a-new-job-alrea...10 May 2015 - It's only been two days since Ed Miliband resigned as Labour leader, but ... Didn't take @Ed_Miliband long to find a new job - protecting the Tories and all! ... How clever are the lyrics to your favourite songs? ... Get to the point.
