Showing posts with label Westminster Village / People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Westminster Village / People. Show all posts

Westminster Village/ People

Historical proof. 'Brother' Corbyn and Stalin's Communist Pact
Discovered! Corbyn And Stalin's Pact To Overthrow Churchill 

A secret pact between Jeremy Corbyn and Joseph Stalin to overthrow Winston Churchill in 1941 and turn the UK into a totalitarian communist state has been discovered by a group of media barons. The new historical documents prove once and for all -so let's have no more arguments after this- that the shadow cabinet leader is not, in fact, a mild-mannered, left-wing, professional politician simply going about his business but instead a fanatical, communist terrorist determined to destroy our country and bring down western civilization in the flames of his international Trotskyite revolution. The billionaire media barons, who coincidentally risk potentially losing millions if Mr Corbyn is elected, stated that they needed to protect their source's identity but had stayed up 'half the night' bribing the necessary officials and 'filling Wikipedia with the appropriate nonsense' to back up their claims.

Within the documents we discover that, although still only a child, by 1941 Corbyn was already a radical Marxist and met Stalin to hatch out his evil plans for world socialist domination during a family summer holiday spent in Soviet USSR. Apparently, after Corbyn and Stalin's overthrow of the UK they planned to demand Churchill, along with his entire government and the royal family, work as humiliated toilet attendants on Brighton beach and that the vaults of the Bank of England be shared out amongst their greedy Bolshevik revolutionary stooges to support their insatiable gambling, drinking, sex and drug habits. Other details describe how Corbyn: the child communist, sent thousands of his fellow Trotskyites to the gulag for laughing at his shorts and often demanded the contents of his mother's handbag be confiscated for his self-serving Leninist collective to buy sweets, or 'сладости' in brother Corbyn's demented communist tongue.

Mr Corbyn's suspicious refusal to reply to several Tweets alleging this 'Stalin Pact' proves, once again, his definite involvement with this evil communist plot. When will people finally pay attention to these allegations and stop this dangerous anti-capitalist before it is too late and he is elected? Who knows? One thing is certain; Jeremy Corbyn obviously represents a very real threat to billionaire media barons everywhere and there is no more proof necessary than this constant, and ludicrous, muck-spreading.

Jeremy Corbyn hits back over spy claims, warning 'billionaire tax exile ...

www.independent.co.uk › News › UK › UK Politics
14 hours ago
Jeremy Corbyn has issued a stark warning to “billionaire tax exile” owners of newspapers that published claims he ...

Jeremy Corbyn met Czech communist spy during Cold War: Report ...

Video for corbyn ridiculous communist claims▶
uk.businessinsider.com/jeremy-corbyn-met-czech-communist-spy-co...
6 days ago
"The claim that he was an agent, asset or informer for any intelligence agency is entirely false and a ...

Armando Iannucci on Trump, Corbyn, cult of personalty and his new ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sY2SE-iJ2Y
24 Oct 2017 - Uploaded by Channel 4 News
Armando Iannucci speaks to Cathy Newman about Donald Trump, how JeremyCorbyn's supporters respond ...
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Westminster Village/ People

Hunt: Safest hands in the NHS business
Hunt: Waiting Times For NHS Privatisation 'Unacceptable'

Jeremy Hunt has claimed waiting times for international business interests to privatise the NHS are 'unacceptable.' The Secretary of State for Health made the remarks whilst delivering a private £15,000 keynote speech to a business and health conference after it had been reported that a hedge fund operating out of the Cayman Islands was forced to wait almost three months before it could take over a multi-million pound contract running the NHS's in house temporary staff supplier, potentially losing the company a fortune in the process.

NHS representatives reported millionaire banker Max Headlong, who runs the hedge fund from his yacht in the Cayman Islands, had repeatedly pleaded with UK health officials that he was losing almost £30,000 a day but hospital management were so overrun with other companies attempting to buy off bits of the hospital as they worked that they were unable to come to Mr Headlong's aid. The banker commented, 'It was a living nightmare. I was getting the sweats, headaches and dandruff. Sometimes I couldn't even sleep. Buggeration! I was losing almost £30,000 a day. Over that period I must have drunk at least two bottles of scotch a night. It played havoc with my constipation and I had to send my wife out in the Bentley to get some Imodium but the silly cow went and crashed it. I must have lost £45,000 that day so now, although I have the contract, I'm still suing the NHS. These ridiculous waiting times for NHS privatisation must come down now or someone rich will die!'

Mr Hunt has always publicly denied that he plans to privatise the NHS claiming that his remarks in a book he wrote titled 'How I Plan to Privatise the NHS' have been taken out of context. Speaking to guests at the lavish business banquet set up by Optum (the health insurance company to which both David Cameron's ex minister for health and the current head of NHS England have professional connections) he rattled on, 'We are not really privatising the NHS, we are simply allowing business interests to slowly seep into sectors of its burgeoning health market that can no longer run at a profit. There is a difference. Though, as we all know, it's purely in the spelling. Always remember, this exciting opportunity has only come about after years of purposeful mismanagement and underinvestment on both my part and the parts of successive lying little enemas just like me. I would also like to take this opportunity to raise a cut-crystal glass to the BBC News departments for their relentless, irrational criticism and scaremongering of the health service, without which, all this would have been a great deal more difficult.'

Defending further claims that he would sell his own mother he quibbled, 'That is absurd. It would be far more cost effective to rent her to the NHS as a broom and mop dispensing unit whilst simultaneously floating her organs on the stock market then by investing the revenue gained in her initial floatation, fund several lucrative tax-free offshore banking practices until she was no longer profitable, i.e. dead, before liquidating her assets, harvesting her remaining parts and selling them to Chinese commercial investment entities for a healthy dividend.'

EPS 40: JEREMY HUNT; AUTHOR and LIES OF PRIVATISATION ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7vuyvdzT1U
9 Sep 2016 - Uploaded by The Tony Martin Experience
What REALLY are Jeremy Hunt's views on privatisation of the NHS. He hasn't really had any peace talks ...

Former Tory government health adviser joins US firm involved in NHS ...

Video for jeremy hunt privatisation of nhs▶
www.independent.co.uk › News › UK › UK Politics
3 Feb 2017
A former Government health adviser has joined a US firm involved in NHS privatisation – a move campaigners ...


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Westminster Village People

Campbell Tells Corbyn Voters 'Pause, Standby And Rewind'

Campbell on Corbyn : Sounding like 'remote controller'
Alastair Cambell, New Labour's old ideas man who has sexed up more documents than Paul Raymond, barged his way into the Jeremy Corbyn debate last night telling voters in next week's all-important Labour leadership elections to 'Pause' so they can be screened for having undesirably socialist beliefs. Mr Campbell's words come after it became obvious to Westminster bigwigs that normal people where actually engaging with left wing politics for the first time in years after hearing the level-headed Corbyn's policies. Westminster Village people are known to feel threatened by the mild-mannered MP for Islington North fearing that his normal, straight-talking approach could single-handedly undermine the popular misconception that the UK had become a entirely conservative country.

Campbell went on to say, 'Mr Corbyn's obviously a communist. Just look at his beard. Stalin and Marks both had beards. And Trotsky. If he got his way he would probably turn the entire country into something resembling Kin Jong-un's North Korea. Or worse - Ken Livingstone's London. It is best that all UK residents unhappy with the current Tory government, but wishing to see political consistency, keep voting for New Labour and The Third Way.'

When asked to remind all those who are too young to remember what he meant by this ageing slogan he said, "It's not right wing and it's definitely not left wing but its something in the middle. A bit like the 'Standby' switch on a TV. It's not quite on and it's not quite off but could become either at any moment depending on what people want. At the simple press of a button. So to speak.'

When Mr Campbell was asked what he thought should happen were Mr Corbyn successfully elected he answered, 'If, God forbid, this crazed lefty radical gets in then we should simply 'Rewind' the voters memories past the point when they had ever heard of him then erase them. The memories that is. Once again always remember: Pause, Standby, Rewind. It's as easy as P.S.R. As I have chosen to call it.'

After it was put to Mr Campbell that he was starting to sound like a 'remote controller' he looked members of the press straight in the eye and emotionlessly replied, 'And?'


  • Image for the news result
    Alastair Campbell: choose anyone but Jeremy Corbyn for Labour leader
    The Guardian‎ - 6 hours ago
    Alastair Campbell has urged the Labour party to choose 'anyone but Corbyn'. Photograph: ...
  • Alastair Campbell warns Labour against electing Jeremy Corbyn
    BBC News‎ - 4 hours ago
  • In the news
  • Image for the news result
    Labour contest should be paused - MP Barry Sheerman
    BBC News‎ - 1 day ago
    A senior Labour MP calls for the party's leadership contest to be. ... large numbers of people joining Labour to vote for the new leader and some of their reasons were "malign" ...
    • Labels:

    Westminster Village/ People

    Ed Milliband defeated but not down
    Ed Milliband Only On Dole For A Week

    Labour's defeated ex-leader Ed Milliband has found new employment as a riot policeman in London and has tweeted, 'I was only on the dole for a week.'

    It is thought that Mrs Milliband became unhappy with her husband constantly hanging around the house moments after he lost the election two weeks ago claiming that he was preventing her from ordering the servants around and getting the chores done. This domestic pressure along with his strong work ethic and the fact that he was only entitled to £74.26p a week on Job Seekers Allowance forced the jilted Labour toff to find new employment.

    Speaking from the front line of a police barricade set up to defend the nation's capitol against rioting students Mr Milliband dodged a flying brick and spluttered, 'Oh yes. Still bringing home the bacon. That's me. Like the man at the dole office said this new job gives me the chance to use my natural authority and powerful physical presence whist keeping me off the streets. Well, y'know what I mean. And now, with my good old mates in the Conservative party enraging everybody in the country for the next five years, there's going to be plenty of overtime. I hope my story can inspire others in a similar situation to keep going in troubling times. Whoever you are out there you might have been defeated but you're not down. If I can do it - you can do it too. Ow! That hurt! Oh c'mon. That was on fire... I say. Ow!'


    1. Has Ed Miliband found a new job already? - The Independent

      www.independent.co.uk/news/.../has-ed-miliband-found-a-new-job-alrea...

      10 May 2015 - It's only been two days since Ed Miliband resigned as Labour leader, but ... Didn't take @Ed_Miliband long to find a new job - protecting the Tories and all! ... How clever are the lyrics to your favourite songs? ... Get to the point.
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    Election Special Westminster Village/ People

    Final insults needed to clinch indecisive victory
    Party Leaders Release Final Insults In Last Round Of Blatant Electioneering

    After months of blatant electioneering that has not affected polls one iota UK party leaders have released their final insults in a effort to win the handful of all-important votes needed to clinch indecisive victory.

    David Cameron was first up to the plate rolling up his sleeves, undoing his top button, throwing away his tie and bawling, 'Ed Milliband eats babies. That is the truth. He wants to eat your babies. If you don't have any babies then he will eat your parents. If you don't have any parents then he will eat you. The Tory party are the only party that do not want to eat your babies. If you do not want your babies, your parents or yourself to be eaten then vote Tory. It's the only way.'

    Ed Milliband paid a hundred unemployed people to stand behind him waving bits of red cardboard around with meaningless slogans written on them before yelling, 'David Cameron's wife is a slag. Even my brother has been with her. But not cos she was fit but because she is well ugly and a slag. Everyone has been with her. Even Ian Dunken Smith and he is bald. If you don't want David Cameron's wife to be a slag with you and your family then vote Labour. It's the only way.'

    Nigel Farage downed fifteen pints of lager, ate twenty five packets of pork scratchings and two packets of honey roasted peanuts (after the bar ran out of pork scratchings) and slurred, 'See all them? They're all shite. See me? I'm fucking great. The problem with them is... (burp!) innigra... innigra... innigra... fuck it. There's too many brown people everywhere. If you don't want... them everywhere vote U (hic) KIP. It's the only way.'

    Nicola Sturgeon tripped on her unwieldy stilettos exiting her helicopter before picking herself up and mumbling under her breath. 'English politicians are a load of southern poofs. Unless you vote SNP you will become a southern poof. Don't want to be a southern poof? Then vote SNP. It's the only way.'

    Green party leader Natalie Bennet was unavailable for insult but Nick Clegg visited a primary school to play with some children who were unimpressed with him, and stumbled, 'Not good at being nasty really. I just want everyone to be happy. Do you think that will do?' When asked what he would say to accusations that the country's political class are guilty of blatant electioneering he stuttered, 'Vote... yellow... I mean Liberal... I mean Democrat ... I mean me. It's the only way.'

    In the news

  • Image for the news result
    Behind the Political Spin: The British Election
    VICE News‎ - 2 days ago
    This election is the closest in decades, so winning over an increasingly disillusioned ...
    • More news for youtube Uk election
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    Westminster Village/ People


    Sturgeon's UK: 'Armed with water pistols'
    Cameron Warns Sturgeon's UK 'Might As Well Be Armed With Water Pistols'
    PM David Cameron has warned voters should mad Scottish pacifist SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon form a coalition with the Labour party then, 'UK military forces might as well be armed with water pistols.' The PM’s allegations come after the SNP, whose manifesto includes scrapping a £100 billion Trident refit, surged ahead in the polls.
    Mr Cameron put his hand across his face for added pathos and wailed alarmingly, ‘With the SNP in power we will be as defenseless as a naked newborn baby covered in petrol, nailed to a skateboard speeding towards a burning crocodile’s mouth. It will be only forty five minutes or less before we are invaded by the bloodthirsty Belgians or even the Viking-like Swedes. That is to say nothing of the wars we have already started around the world which we fully intend to keep spreading… I mean fighting. All in the name of democracy of course, defense and staggering profits for my friends, family and party donors at BAE, their associated companies and other merchants of death… I mean peace.’
    Nicola Sturgeon explained, ‘These ridiculous rumours are obviously pathetic scare tactics. Cutting Trident is merely prudent in times of austerity especially when the UK already possesses a fully functioning version of the system with enough fire power to melt the entire globe three times over.’
    After quickly consulting with Tory head of smear, fear and muck-spreading Cameron came out with a fresh set of terror machine-guns, blazing, ‘If you don’t vote Tory this Scottish maniac will tear Scotland from the mainland leaving us even more vulnerable to deadly attack from all five corners of the planet and after replacing our submarine fleet with broken ping pong bats she will sell us out to ISIS or the Reds or maybe even aliens. Yes! That’s right: Aliens! Really, really scary, slimy ones… that suck your brains out… then eat you! Vote Tory!’



    1. TRIDENT DEMO and the BBC LIES (see ... - YouTube

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pq0SV4fuRIM

      13 Apr 2013 - Uploaded by wee bastard
      At todays demo ,where several thousand turned-out to protest attrident and it's renewal,there was a call ...
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    Westminster Village/ People

    Cam's farmyard snaps; 'Political Dynamite'
    Spindoctors Claim Cameron's Dirty Farmyard Snaps 'Political Dynamite'

    David Cameron has turned up the heat in the election race to barbecue like temperatures and turned around a ten
    point deficit in the polls by releasing pictures of himself hugging an orphaned lamb. The PM's totally coincidental photo shoot splattered over every paper, TV and computer screen in the country was felt so effective by his competitors that it sent them back to the drawing board with political scrambled egg all over their chins.

    Ed Milliband was first to crack under the pressure immediately relenting on his calls for fairer taxing of non dom residents saying he had been 'hasty' to announce such a rash move without first fondling some cattle. Along with this embarrassing climb down he pretended be a Sikh, came out as gay, said he like football and announced that, upon his party winning the election, every UK resident who voted for Labour would receive a free Vauxhall Astra in the post. Nick Clegg, the political eunuch, was also put onto both his back feet by Cameron's lamb snogging snaps and instantly hit back back juggling some hedgehogs. The stunt went wrong when the cack-handed, lightweight, coalition castrato dropped several of the tiny creatures killing them outright.

    Cocky Nigel Farge, or Nige to his mates down the pub (or boozer to his mates down the boozer) came out fighting in typical UKIP style by letting himself be filmed pretending that he had something in common with people in Grimsby. The Westminster wideboy then spent nearly three hours at a press conference trying to understand what Joey Essex was saying before giving up with a shrug of exasperation admitting, 'I might have been able to develop the only independent political platform to compete with the established parties in the last twenty years but I'm not a fucking miracle worker.'

    Leading political spindoctor Micheal Mendacium darted his eyes about and cackled, 'Ha, ha. Dave's cheeky farmyard snaps are political dynamite but only because UK voters are as perceptive as a can of peas. Turning round a ten point margin by simply posting pictures of yourself pretending to be a mummy sheep proves, without a shadow of doubt, that if Adolf Hitler was running this country and forcing half the population to work to death in concentration camps a good PR consultant could make him the most popular leader in the nation's history by simply printing some pictures of him letting a guide dog suck his fucking bone.'


    1. David Cameron kisses orphaned lamb on Easter ... - YouTube

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lcz1k-G-O4
      3 days ago - Uploaded by nightyy@news
      Image for the news result David Cameron kisses a lamb on Easter Sunday Telegraph.co.uk‎ - 15 hours ago David ...
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