The Stuffing 'Em Post: Westminster Village /People

Westminster Village /People

Cameron's Nose Made Out Of Plastic Due To Fears Over Lying

Cameron confirming the number of plastic noses he has

Rumours have surfaced claiming that Prime Minister David Cameron's nose is made out of plastic. It is thought that Mr Cameron originally wore his old nose off by repeatedly rubbing it when being asked questions regarding his father's tax dodging offshore accounts in Panama and Geneva from which the PM himself 'pocketed' £300 000.

Whitehall insiders are said to have been 'relieved' when the PM had his prosthetic nose replacement as they were worried that his original nose might have grown longer like Pinocchio's as he lied about everything from; UK military manoeuvers, fracking, hacking, Syria, Libya, LIBOR, Trident, MI6 cover ups, MI5 cover ups, HS2, the FSA, GHCQ, MP's expenses, bankers bonuses, lobby groups, Rebekka Brookes, Rebekka Brookes' husband, Rebekka Brookes' horse, Rebekka Brookes' boss, Government lending, Government borrowing, the economy in general, education, privatisation, immigration, the coalition, all foreign, domestic, national and international policies, the real reasons for not supporting Scottish independence, the entire official Conservative manifesto and every other single 'core belief' of the conservative party.

One particularly greasy Westminster political aide muttered, 'Thank God Dave's nose is made out of plastic. If it wasn't with all the bollocks he talks by now it would be as long as the Millenium Bridge.'