Travel Fears

Graying keen to promote evermore expensive rail travel

Graying's New 'Golden Era For Rail' Targets Cyclists

Keen to promote evermore expensive rail travel Transport Secretary Chris Grayling has knocked down a cyclist outside the House of Commons in his chauffeur driven car. Mr Grayling (54) stood over the injured cyclist and snorted, 'If I can do it then anyone can. If every UK motorist could bag at least one of these Lycra-clad idiots then the morning train from Brighton to Victoria will look like the 8.45 am into Calcutta station. C'ching!"

Mr Grayling, who has never been on a bike, claiming, 'You'd never get me on one of those things," has never been on a train and claimed, "You'd never get me on one of those things. No, but really - what I'm promising is a new Golden Era for rail. Literally. If we keep prices in line with balloon inflation, as we are at the moment, then by 2020 rail users might just as well be travelling on trains made from gold. With one exception. They won't be. They will be the same old rusty, purple, brown, orange, green, yellow, blue, red and tartan, piss-stinking old ones from before but vastly, and I mean vastly, more expensive. Not only will they be as expensive as trains made from gold but they will be as slow as trains made from gold and we predict an increase of anywhere between 1-24 hours journey time and that, on average, each commuter will have to spend at least £300 on sandwiches or die of starvation before they alight at their chosen destination. But don't worry I'll be regularly driving past in one of my governmental cars or maybe even flying over you in Theresa's helicopter to see how you're all doing. Neeeeoooowwww!"

WATCH: Transport Secretary Chris Grayling hits cyclist off road with ...

https://www.politicshome.com/.../watch-transport-secretary-chris-grayling-hits-cyclist

16 Dec 2016 - Transport Secretary Chris Grayling has been caught on camera hitting a cyclist off the road and into a lamp post by opening his car door. ... Accountants and lawyers who help others to evade paying their taxes ... Rather than reposition itself on immigration and welfare, shadow workand pensions secretary ...


Chris Grayling promises 'golden era for rail' as commuters ... - Tapatalk


https://www.tapatalk.com/.../2b19d2c4b7767d7779c8aefb24981caf-chris-grayling-pr...

Chris Grayling, pictured, announced plans for the first fully privatised railway line but faced criticism for pressing ahead with further privatisation and not sorting ...